A Cordial Welcome

Cosmik Wolfpack is a playground and laboratory for flash-formed poetry and nanofiction written by The Debtor, a white cisgender male and citizen of the United States.

If you have something to say to the author, send it to cosmikwolfpack at gmail dot com.

8.19.2016

Magazine Cupid

I don’t know if anyone’s killed more civilians and innocent people than people who don’t feel that they have been properly represented on TV. As the government has tried to keep putting material out there, even if no one was paying, women continue to improvise with both celebrities who have no idea what’s going to happen and real people who are not actors.

You’re one of the only people who’s ever witnessed this ideology in action. If you’re on TV, you can’t bang the drum of war and simultaneously develop a dating app.

8.18.2016

Pretty Nice Haircut

Renegade Russian and Chinese scientists drown in the biggest nightmare since the last big meteor wiped out the dinosaurs. The crew instantly boils into gas, which is hard to forget. They must now work together in order to harm the world. Working in the north, it was time to start traveling, to come to an understanding of how to recycle our bad decisions. The whole crew was real fortunate to have parents that allowed them to have a blast.

8.17.2016

Location of Mineral Powder

The expertise of a terrifying local mystic was required in a criminal investigation. A police detective of great renown named Detective Paula Ramona was dispatched to seek the mystic's guidance.

The mystic lived in a ramshackle abandoned duplex on the city's east side past the frozen yogurt establishment. Detective Ramona considered stopping for a triple swirl on the way but concluded that a visit upon her successful meeting would be more appropriate. She had hair like a prize rabbit. She drove a blue police van with 23877 miles on the odometer.

The terrifying mystic reached into a rough orifice in a wall and produced a bag of onion snacks shortly after Detective Ramona's arrival. Upon opening the bag a delightful odor made itself apparent. Detective Ramona asked for a single snack but was not satisfied so the mystic offered her the entire bag.

To provide assistance, the mystic asked Detective Ramona to join him in the yard where his grand ritual gazebo stood. A hard wind from the south blew the nearly empty bag of snacks from the highly professional detective's grasp and also blew open the mystic's luxurious robe. Exposed to the light, the mystic's body became as the cosmos, a distant collection of light and matter melting forever into the eyes of its countless observers.

As the hard rain began to fall, Detective Ramona took the robe as her own to shield her from the frightful precipitation and as she walked downcast to the police van, a youth made fun of her "fancy poncho."

Coil Bucket Lock

A bird hugs a cool baby ox before submitting the manuscript to the company.

Until we can provide assistance to a hot-blooded scientist with extremely large funding, we cannot know what outcome will be. The company employs horrific nude people to evaluate all submissions and do it like experts.

The bird munches a lot of research on the journey to intelligence!

8.16.2016

Kanye in Indiana?

As the opening credits roll, the voices of two young men can be heard, singing. They sing the Anthem of the State of Florida. A DJ in the corner pumps out some sweet jams and jellies as people mingle and dance. In the kitchen, Bernard rifles through the refrigerator. He finds a juice box amidst all the beer and takes it outside. Bernard approaches the doorway to the tiny bedroom. He stands there awkward and out of place like his body is 981 miles from his ghost.

8.15.2016

So Codified, Like Eagle-Eyed Crabbers

I heard something very, very interesting on the news video. Senator Gail Vitamins spoke at a landscaping symposium about various foreign thugs' commitment to build an erect gazebo that spins, a delightfully frightening prospect for all our families. The refreshments, from beverages to desserts and all points in between, were made of beans (pro tip: you don’t want to be stuck in a ho-hum venue for your celebration). "The symposium had an exciting atmosphere," Sen. Vitamins claimed afterward. It is reported that she subsequently existed in many marvelous shapes and forms.

8.14.2016

Casting Call for Short Film

Their obvious move is exposing how small our products are. The smart move is reminding us how much bigger our services are.

This is capital-B Business, baby! You come strapped and ready to serve up standard issue sauce packets or you stay hone under your cozy blanket.

Work hard, play hard. Suck your sack up into your tan slacks and ready yourself for the horny addressee.

Our country does not feel deadly to the millions of losers living in Michigan, putting together crummy furniture.