8.18.2017

BJ Sunfire's "Emotion!" Now available!

GIT IT! This is an exciting release, celebrating the 14th anniversary of this landmark record from Monroe County, Indiana rock vocalist BJ Sunfire!

8.09.2017

Upside Down in the Guy's Warehouse

I resemble Steven Tyler, Bostonian rock and roll star. He, like me, is native New Yorker. I've got that great accent you've heard in the programs or at the cinema. When my alarm clock app wakes me in the morning, I scrape the dream scabs from my piercing blue eyes, open the blinds, and gaze out on the square where some people are usually trying to crack each other up.

These are my own people, and I stand with my fondness for a few minutes as I drink the lukewarm water that's been sitting on my shabby nightstand for the past four to six hours. Sometimes it's collected a gnat or small spider, but I ingest them without hesitation. They are part of a beautiful life, too.

I've been ignoring the other person in the room this whole time, because I have determined that she is unlikely to meet my criteria for an ideal romance partner and she shall not be retained. Soon, I'll lead her by the hand down to the square and amid the raucous laughter of the natives I'll whisper an improvised screed of rejection through gritted teeth and those full, sensuous lips that people claim are aesthetically the best thing about me.

Then I'll board a subway car and try to meet another one in another square.

5.15.2017

Signs of Neurological Inflation

There is no skipping over a self-image. We are never transcending. Some people experience compassionate suffering, which comes with honestly exploring the breathless underworld. When we see someone who has barren softness, we become unbearable memories.

I’m running full-steam ahead—and have no intention of responding to the astrologer when tiny green stalks push out of the feminine abyss.

5.14.2017

Shining Baculum in Velvet Holster

Uber is the, Uber is the, Uber is the extracurricular survival.
Uber is the ceaseless interpretation of lifestyle.
A marketing consultant who explicitly depends on striving, speaking to people.
Uber is the, Uber is the, Uber is the fantasy of eroding.
If people see some sort of difficulty they favor toil.
Uber is the, Uber is the, Uber is the flexible popularity.
A college student can get the reality of slapping.

5.13.2017

Boat Placard

Steven Morris and Philippe Belanger are unlikely sacred captives of fascinating talking animals who have all opened themselves up to an evil force determined to embark on a relentless crusade that includes the purchase of a yacht. When a mischievous little boy plans a daring scheme to seek revenge for his family, several people become intertwined in a murderous plot after it is discovered they possess knowledge about a legendary one-eyed political science major from Boston University.

In a futuristic world, a chaotic swirl of personal crisis and full-blown paranoia includes a foray into high school and college football. If you have an ounce of adventure in your soul, you will love this story of faith, struggle, and survival.

5.12.2017

Seventeen-year-old Modest Prince

I decided to write a book about dense jungles and semifictionalized predators and two ex-newspaper sports editors in love in a forbidden backseat of a police car where every man or woman has a chance to heal and be whole again. But how? When they leave no one finds out. What does a guy do when sudden weapons trapped in mysterious childhood make a sexual advance on a man? After several months of residential care, a control freak who has a reputation for being emotionally unable to react unfavorably goes to the annual celebration of life called Burning Man, held in the Nevada desert. Now armed with suspicions that there may be a ruthless gangster who will turn to his grandmother for advice and support, he embarks on a journey of self-discovery lined with love, reconciliation, and friendship as he attempts to fulfill a deathbed promise—and his own dreams.

5.10.2017

Paula Poundstone is not a fan of Vin Diesel or the Fast And Furious franchise

I had a dream about a whiny, shallow, cocktail-sucking New Yorker - a largely unsympathetic character - rattling off jokes about trashy tattoos, partying too hard, and a fortyish, coprolalic musician. The best and worst thing about the dream was a motor-mouthed snake. Maybe that sounds like a drag. Maybe it’s a once-in-a-decade phenomenon. What do you want?

This is the light, entertaining vision of a nameless trio of cephalodian Americans. Over dinners, lunches, and a few museum tours, they get to know each other, indulging in food-porn and banality.

Maybe it would make more sense if the philosophies of various artists and thinkers read their treatises in harmony.

5.07.2017

Drinking Melted Mush

Tad saw what he was looking for, a bullet proof vest. Jack turned slowly to toss his gun at the sheriff’s feet. “I want my attorney,” said the sheriff. Jack said he was a professional assassin.

The King spoke, “You could be a splitting image of my former husband." Jack was remembering his vows on his wedding day that Pastor Wayne had said. Pastor Wayne could visually decode other people’s thoughts.

Tad was deprived of all the experiences a boy needs to transition into manhood.

5.04.2017

Punched Directly in My Already Swollen Testicles

Bad boys with big abilities are peaceful as they are uprooted and recruited to help a terrorist retrieve his friends. They have fun with new friends hanging at the bar and singing karaoke. They encounter a beautiful rainbow-colored fish that is being questioned for the grisly murder of an undercover cop! Everything goes according to the plan until the audacious midnight theft of a boat.

After nearly being killed in the ensuing intrigue, they try to keep vengeance out of their minds, and the return of their long-dead empress has ignited political strife within the priesthood. The small group must depend on each other for survival as they fight their way through throngs of murderous mobs and dark, other-worldly creatures.

5.03.2017

Ghraumpler

The crew must now force you to consider if your people have refused to be saturated in oxygen and explosive natural gasses. News media are hungry for stories and photographs of a new molecule which is in the daily news. The presence of dangerous pathogens draws attention from an extraterrestrial... maybe, entity, that was accidentally discovered in a salt pond, of a small island that was not on the charts. What happens to a person being transported to a far-off planet to experience a lifestyle she would have never dreamed of partaking in? May all of your days and nights resemble popping corn.

5.02.2017

Steel Blue Fungus

Human carcasses and ancient eyes brought down a clandestine mob-run enterprise at a nearby remote lake resort. Secret Service agents and an ex-geographer from the planet Earth begin to search for advanced technology left by two unseen clients. Shortly after the authorities discover the glitz and glamour of high-class Montreal society, a gorgeous consultant from Wales and a sociable medical student tormented by visions of a fish driven by lethal rage and savage depravity searching for lowly shepherds and wealthy wise men.

5.01.2017

Clorox is My Favorite

Sarah writes letters to her sister and aunt, preparing to leave the country when a beautiful angel suddenly emerges from the river and shouts an exultant war cry. Sarah races across the prairie. Ten years later, angels control a world where danger and sickness lurk in the shadows and nothing is promised as Sarah's destiny rises up to meet her.

Sarah slowly discovers that she is feisty, confusing, and lovable all rolled into one beautiful package. She is forced to escape again, this time from a large cat, which is entirely too close for comfort. No one knows how a woman's unconditional love can create imaginary people.

4.30.2017

Sweet Grass Ranch

This is a cautionary tale told with humor and indulgence by two young protagonists who had suffered fascism and the fight against it almost from birth. One summer solstice night in a hot tub changes everything. It is 1969. When an arrogant but handsome police chief with an evil mission shares an exciting tale of adventure, their sensual on-again, off-again relationship spirals toward humbling and climactic events that neither can control. They step over the traditional boundaries of pleasure and pain to devour a horrific mushroom cloud. When the nuclear holocaust begins, they decide to date and spend passionate nights together whenever they're in the same town.

4.29.2017

Revenged Grace and Favors

After a Shaolin monk enters manhood, his giant malamute, Zack, dreams of priceless friendship. Soon, they conjure up a vicious enemy by way of an ancient ritual of consuming the blood of a living photojournalist. The enemy is a farmer who lives in a dreary, desolate 16th century chateau. After deciding to spend money on makeup to camouflage their age, they cannot seem to shake enormous feelings of discontent caused by their new enemy. As uncertainty and confusion transforms into treacherous over-analysis and eventual disillusion, the monk and his dog escape the shadow of looming madness and become nearly inseparable energy spirits.

4.28.2017

Taboo Frontiers

Charles has the honor of hooking up with a group of seven gorgeous friends, each delicious in his own unique way. While his father welcomes this great news with pride, his sworn enemy and abusive first husband does not consider it an honor. He's not ready to die, and he suffers from hallucinations.

A lovely spinster discovers that her innate ability to see things brings with it both challenges and possibilities but she certainly doesn't deserve to be killed at the hands of cowardly criminals. Through all the darkness caused by the malicious, she persists to pursue a medical career in Carbondale, Illinois.

What no one knows is that this is a rich, well-rounded period drama and an authentic recreation of the early medieval world.

4.27.2017

The Horniest

Raised by a governess and Irish Catholic nuns in a private boarding school, Nickels is the youngest of three half sisters and a DEA officer with the Miami Police Department. One day she takes a divorced American writer to track down a missing charismatic high school teacher and the most eligible bachelor.

Will the bachelor, a striking cattle rancher, convince a bossy, over-protective, and affectionate female family member-who is battling her own internal demons-to do whatever it takes to make them fall for her and ensure all of them keep it a secret? Everyone knows that they aren't blood relatives, but who would have thought that society had conditioned its people not to explore their darker sexual desires?

4.23.2017

Jars are Like Bottles

Hello, every one. I am very happy today to share this great testimony with you, I contacted a Ph.D. student at the University of Edinburgh in regards to my lover: He no longer wanted to associate with me or my bountiful materials. He was not interested in floating around the Internet for a few years; after begging and pleading with him I realized it was out of my hands. He really was a bombastically cute performance artist who grew up.

My co-worker went through a similar situation and told me that an associate editor at Merriam-Webster had helped her. I can't say how much I'm grateful she introduced me to Him. After discussing the resolution with this positive and complex associate editor at Merriam-Webster, my political views, gender, and socioeconomic status have transformed more than I expected and have spread to all major forms of social media. My lover not only came back to me, but has become terrifying and depressing for so many and now we are engaged; we are getting married next year.

Ultimately, I don't that I could have persisted without a miniature Australian picture or video of a dog.

I believe it is my guardian angel.

4.20.2017

Dense Intellectual

Eventually, the angry ape destroys the subpar Frasier script and the resulting cyberpunk-lite adventure is serious, yet still wildly cartoonish. After a while it becomes painfully clear that I am not the male antihero. The problem, I think, is that the pretentious and overly formal kids are squads of noble, conflicted soldiers. Representing the calm center of the storm is a wily real estate agent smirking triumphantly in an expensive suit while standing in front of a cherry red Corvette with a vanity plate reading "Gloria is divorced."

4.11.2017

Sap of Independence

I'm a photographer and use a breeze to get through the downloadable experience. My teacher is very off-putting, exceptionally obscure, perpetually surprised. Her numerous tricks are serious; I am, in fact, exceptionally artsy.

There are 14 users, adequately sized and overly laden with hundreds of instructions. One of them, I have come to believe, is universally useful. The uninitiated are a pleasure, rather than a burden.

4.10.2017

Primigenius

I know best the stink of mammoth
Heaps of muscle steeped in musk,
Riot of lice who in the cold
Cleave to the warmth of flesh

The tomb of its bowels
Giving groaning voice to the night

Red sap binding my fingers, I hear
Cold clatter of freed carpals
Vertebrae like yellow wood
But always I am pulled to the singularity of one eye,
Where our essential kinship is spoken
As the vessels which nourished it whither

4.09.2017

Grabbin' Rolos Now, BRB

I feel most like a goddess when I’m gonna lie. Hopefully after eating lots of whole foods and tons of greens, you could recommend staying uber hydrated. I bet you’d be fine getting enough zzzzz’s, and practicing yoga on the regs, but you could try adding more delicious and flavorful mayo and sour cream to balance the interchangeable cucks we have to deal with on a daily basis. I did start to lick the digestive system of the friendly vegan.