Portentously Gloomy or Horrifying

One of the main concerns we've had in regards to establishing trading posts along the margins of the known realms is that the continued emergence of politically conservative sailors has reduced the quality, quantity, and perceived value of manly virtue. By recruiting men of the old tribes to fight against this new class of insensate sea animal, architects of international markets intend to introduce standards of actual manhood to an institutional framework sorely in need of them.

A collateral benefit, it is argued, would be a renewed focus on hardcore fucking, which until now remains a vague concept, ill-defined and subject to the ephemeral whims of market participants, no matter how noble the intentions. It is a matter of contention to several dozen individuals and small businesses.

Return of the Soft Cactus Monster

We noticed that the trend lately has been to apply the nastiest kinds of verbal insults to the strongest among us, but the problem is that what various parties truly deserve in actuality can't be determined. Response from traditional seats of power has been inconsistent, but my fellow writers and I are heartened by these notable efforts:

• The eyewear industry really became willing to follow a nightly routine, looking for alternatives to your satisfaction.
• The average fashionista retains a little extra spaciousness, maybe a buttery sense of comfort when planning to hit the sack.
• Your family and friends are optimized for the consumption of heavily processed foods, prayer and meditation, and the most obnoxious displays of nudity imaginable.

My fellow writers and I shall reside silently apart from you folks. I have an idea about next week. Ponytails aren’t just for someone with a heart-shaped face and a prominent jaw.

Real-life Sequences

Skeleton Mages are very interested in precious textiles.

I learned that from a neurotic, bookish woman in the rental bungalow. Her corpulent son, graced with lips like noisome grease tubes, founded the renowned website about bird wrestling I have frequented for many years.

I have signed a lucrative contract with him and shall be providing music to his upcoming film, a distinctive sonic and lyrical universe. I feel like it fuses dancefloor bass with twelve genetically identical lines of harmonica and highly creative songwriting skills.

A Man's Sporting Garment

You are a lucky man my friend, and most likely the acknowledged master of bonus missions. I'm fairly certain that you have a program to allow you a sense of dignified wistful justice amongst the skeletons! I'll fess up that I haven't been to a pure liberal establishment library since my crush started following me back before the days of meals in brown boxes.

Flat Comb

Shallows in the night fill the heart with the lingering irritation of hope.

Every father slips into this rut of job placement exercises and whorehouse trips. None of the mothers have enough money to party. All of the daughters take care of lots of sick animals. Up to seventy percent of sons die fast from automobile collisions and of the remaining thirty percent, five percent are fighters with brass balls, five percent are laughing warrior monks who like technology, five percent are laughing warrior monks who hate technology, five percent are redneck hustlers, five percent are cool chefs who moonlight as catalog models, one percent are roughneck weapon lovers, one percent are simplistic journalists with no interest in monogamy, one percent are theorists of anal mythologies, one percent are grumpy soldiers, and one percent refuse to acknowledge the need for covering their penises with the garments most appropriate for that particular task.

We have mostly researched sons, basically.

Everybody is Having Sex, and Nobody is Vomiting

Does anyone have a wig or fake mustache or leopard print anything I can borrow today for a music video I'm shooting? Though it shares many features with today's gliding fish, this song moves with swollen grace, like the monsters in the stories we've learned to tell children. Our music, the music we make, is something like a floating fabric upon which sentimental thoughts are actualized. We become one with the mind of those curse-bearing children, we become something colder, more precise, more filled with the potentials we cherish in the modern republic. Every song is concealed in violence. Every single one!

Put That Guy Inside Some Boxes

According to accounts, many believers spend their time praising chairs and a paint color. Many people receive feedback on the spiritual schemes that lead to a free opportunity to ask archangels about the obstacle course of God’s exterior and interior presence. For example, if you must work on fighting patterns, avoid setting up new assignments elsewhere in the realm. Submit a huge evil photo of water to the head archangel, honor the form that appears.

You selected a heaven you just won’t want to color. Archangels also spend time in the kitchen, choosing to get cut. Identify a particular drink for your God.