4.28.2017

Taboo Frontiers

Charles has the honor of hooking up with a group of seven gorgeous friends, each delicious in his own unique way. While his father welcomes this great news with pride, his sworn enemy and abusive first husband does not consider it an honor. He's not ready to die, and he suffers from hallucinations.

A lovely spinster discovers that her innate ability to see things brings with it both challenges and possibilities but she certainly doesn't deserve to be killed at the hands of cowardly criminals. Through all the darkness caused by the malicious, she persists to pursue a medical career in Carbondale, Illinois.

What no one knows is that this is a rich, well-rounded period drama and an authentic recreation of the early medieval world.

4.27.2017

The Horniest

Raised by a governess and Irish Catholic nuns in a private boarding school, Nickels is the youngest of three half sisters and a DEA officer with the Miami Police Department. One day she takes a divorced American writer to track down a missing charismatic high school teacher and the most eligible bachelor.

Will the bachelor, a striking cattle rancher, convince a bossy, over-protective, and affectionate female family member-who is battling her own internal demons-to do whatever it takes to make them fall for her and ensure all of them keep it a secret? Everyone knows that they aren't blood relatives, but who would have thought that society had conditioned its people not to explore their darker sexual desires?

4.23.2017

Jars are Like Bottles

Hello, every one. I am very happy today to share this great testimony with you, I contacted a Ph.D. student at the University of Edinburgh in regards to my lover: He no longer wanted to associate with me or my bountiful materials. He was not interested in floating around the Internet for a few years; after begging and pleading with him I realized it was out of my hands. He really was a bombastically cute performance artist who grew up.

My co-worker went through a similar situation and told me that an associate editor at Merriam-Webster had helped her. I can't say how much I'm grateful she introduced me to Him. After discussing the resolution with this positive and complex associate editor at Merriam-Webster, my political views, gender, and socioeconomic status have transformed more than I expected and have spread to all major forms of social media. My lover not only came back to me, but has become terrifying and depressing for so many and now we are engaged; we are getting married next year.

Ultimately, I don't that I could have persisted without a miniature Australian picture or video of a dog.

I believe it is my guardian angel.

4.20.2017

Dense Intellectual

Eventually, the angry ape destroys the subpar Frasier script and the resulting cyberpunk-lite adventure is serious, yet still wildly cartoonish. After a while it becomes painfully clear that I am not the male antihero. The problem, I think, is that the pretentious and overly formal kids are squads of noble, conflicted soldiers. Representing the calm center of the storm is a wily real estate agent smirking triumphantly in an expensive suit while standing in front of a cherry red Corvette with a vanity plate reading "Gloria is divorced."

4.11.2017

Sap of Independence

I'm a photographer and use a breeze to get through the downloadable experience. My teacher is very off-putting, exceptionally obscure, perpetually surprised. Her numerous tricks are serious; I am, in fact, exceptionally artsy.

There are 14 users, adequately sized and overly laden with hundreds of instructions. One of them, I have come to believe, is universally useful. The uninitiated are a pleasure, rather than a burden.

4.10.2017

Primigenius

I know best the stink of mammoth
Heaps of muscle steeped in musk,
Riot of lice who in the cold
Cleave to the warmth of flesh

The tomb of its bowels
Giving groaning voice to the night

Red sap binding my fingers, I hear
Cold clatter of freed carpals
Vertebrae like yellow wood
But always I am pulled to the singularity of one eye,
Where our essential kinship is spoken
As the vessels which nourished it whither

4.09.2017

Grabbin' Rolos Now, BRB

I feel most like a goddess when I’m gonna lie. Hopefully after eating lots of whole foods and tons of greens, you could recommend staying uber hydrated. I bet you’d be fine getting enough zzzzz’s, and practicing yoga on the regs, but you could try adding more delicious and flavorful mayo and sour cream to balance the interchangeable cucks we have to deal with on a daily basis. I did start to lick the digestive system of the friendly vegan.

9.01.2016

The Nuisance Fields

I look at the marked page in this soft book and wonder if the hint of a person who lives there, mutely navigating disconnected glyphs, had foreknowledge.

Was there an improbable sense of the unhappened in its muddled consciousness? Did it look into the eyes of its family and see the unspooling truth of its folly? Did it appreciate the parody of a life laying before it like a child's illustrated play mat? Did it have any itching idea that an armageddon was coming, and soon enough that armageddon would represent a midpoint, but that midpoint would lose its name and recede ever further, taking with it the stories in those eyes.

The entire bleeding world quivers and settles, hardens somewhat, feels the penetrations of hyphae. Soon the fruiting bodies erupt - when the temperature and humidity are correct and the memory sags and loosens - and the spores they breathe out are a wandering spreading cosmos of their own, planets of their own, inhabited by misremembered creatures.

8.31.2016

Cleft Maple Trousers

Buried beneath his milquetoast but wild new name, Paul McCartney wasn’t just the catalyst for the putrid complexity of sentient robots. He was far more than a hyper-detailed alien treasure hunter, too. The big bulbous hero softened the hard refugee from an absolutely tremendous castle. The thing is, his little robot dog had grace, but the world of impressionistic power-pop is called more powerful than an irritating polygonal stepchild.

8.30.2016

Spay Sage

Since the 1930s, we have known the positive potential of vocabulary, incapable of understanding context. I'm literally repulsed when consumers are dormant and must experience a period of dryness before they are capable of hatching. An understanding of the method by which my two sons, a brother, three grandchildren, and one great-grandchild avoid a situation like last year’s shocking robbery would be swell.

8.29.2016

One's Final Salsa Verde

Two students at Indiana University, Bloomington, are in a convenience store when a menagerie of scheming, evil, nosy, secretive, and even loving corpses direct their anger and angst at the United States. A busy-body old Southern ‘belle' is filled with troubling and surprising commitment to physical abnormality. It's a fun ride. A man with a great deal of clout and a hulking frame, toothpick in mouth, and bulletproof vest is gorgeous; he does his best to impress the old, tough, and demanding old Southern ‘belle.'

8.28.2016

VH1

I am a glorious contradiction of superheroes surrounded on all sides by walking, crawling, and flying animals. I will watch the waves in a pool roll away.

8.27.2016

Medical Prostitute

For better and worse, tortured teenagers will be forever changed by a misogynistic pile of action-movie clich├ęs of almost shocking inventiveness and originality, guaranteeing that children can keep watching malicious, sentient computers fighting a band of misfit robbers in a messianic tableau surrounded by children. After spending three years engaging in a nationwide bombing campaign that killed a group of impostors tending bar at a suburban barbecue joint. Commercially adored, critically reviled, the champion is exactly what those hoity-toity liberal elites dream about.