Drum Machines at Their Fartiest

It will be pleasant for me if you want with me to research bleeding-edge automotive technology. You have very much interested me. It will be very pleasant for me to find the friend or second half through the Internet. At supervision of your structure I very much have become interested in you. My name is Anna. If you want with me to explore the outer limits of furniture design then write to me.

We can exchange photos.

Double-Album Whippet Fantasia

I have feather hands. I caught the tools you threw. I have damaged muscle juice.

I call blood muscle juice. You act on malicious impulses. My weakness in my hands is fully crippling.

You win all fights. You work in the world with ferocity that blinds me. There is a heat in me that never subsides.

Goofy Faux-Symphonics

I have a friend who brags about his or her sexual kinks. He or she finds his or her vainglory to be greatly inflated when speaking about the spankings of his or her buttocks with orange paddles. His or her pulse audibly quickens when conversing casually about the eroticism inherent in the wearing of gauze upon his or her head. And sometimes I eat venison with my friend until the pleasure center of his or her brain is stimulated to the point of glossolalia, at which time I whisper the entire Book of Exodus into his or her ear. This is the only kink in which I participate; it is mostly a good reason to memorize a book of the Old Testament and eat a buck.

Barfy Growls

Steve and Isabelle know a way to create sheets of noodle clothing. Some of the output could be considered a patriotic act. In my robust imagination I see nose pads which allow a device to rest on your face.

I found very little record of partners in industry who can help make these voice commands swirl in wild ecstasy.

Outrageously Heavy Cocktail

Initiate and facilitate and produce and distribute trade familiarisations, business developments and opportunities, tactical trade campaign opportunities, and sales tours. Also kindly promote consumer show opportunities in the international media trade e-newsletter. You are not the pigmother.

Taut Alterna-Bashing

Something to say to a man whose presence you don't enjoy is "I will feed your corpse to starlings!" No one wants to be eaten by birds. Something has gone horrible wrong if birds are nourishing their energy-hogging bodies on your skin and muscle.

I knew one person who liked to mix her dead skin, dried blood, and hair with the bird food she gave to whatever birds frequented her yard. She was fond of knowing that the pieces of herself she discarded were borne away by various species of passerine birds. She failed to realize that the songbirds who consumed her materials were the sport of cruel accipiters.

Riff-Ravaging

The border of Mexico is different now. It's drawn with fluorescent ink. It's landscaped with thirsty flowers from Europe. I don't know flowers. But I know what it takes to make thirsty European varieties flourish on the Mexican border.

Indulging in Harsh Power-electronics Interludes

I like tea now, Dad. You always teased me about the tea I didn't drink. My negative attitude towards teabags was, how did you say? "Quaint." No father should call his only son "quaint." It's a fucking disaster to hear that. Well, I do drink tea, but I don't use teabags. I use this metal implement I bought at a garage sale in a cul-de-sac.

The next time I see you, you will note that I smell like the sort of thing that comes out of an ass hole. This time, I'm keeping my secret.

The Smoothie Churn

Somewhere, I forgot a big box of office supplies. The problem with this is that I will probably be in hot water over it. Once my employer, Gideon Mathis, discovers my colossal blooper, he'll blow a gasket. Never screw up. Everyone hates it.

The way to avoid the screw-ups and blunders is to write notes on colorful paper. Excellence demands such measures. My additional problem is that the little colorful paper thingies were in the box I forgot. Perhaps I'll find it, and I'll begin the new chapter of my life in which I write things on little colorful pieces of paper and I remember them. Life will be better. Everyone will love it.

Perhaps I will never find the box. It will have been picked up by a miscreant, or I will simply never remember where it is. Last year, some people I know but am not related to experienced this problem. Only they can express the pain I will feel, but they are dead. They are bodies in boxes. Soaking up the Earth.

A Dream Collabo

Take our metal things away. Heap us up. We'll be a pile of hairy bodies. Spray us down with something cold and viscous. Just be as rude and stupid as you want, and we'll make sure you get whatever you want. Treat us like detestable, hairy slaves. If you could hand us meat sandwiches, do that after the weird ritual described above. Once the meal is finished, we will gratefully accept vigorously performed blow jobs, hand jobs, and rim jobs. It helps us digest meat sandwiches.

Fuzzed-beyond-belief Guitars

We don't have to ask for permission if we want to read very little Marx. We want to make people think about how they have endlessly seductive bodies. Stylistically, females are heavily influenced by absence.

Clean-as-a-whistle Barefoot Blooze

Our people couldn't afford to replace the complete history of the atmosphere. They had often been met with derision. So they took up the essayist's pen and began the systematic rehabilitation of their unclear or abnormal notable artists. The whereabouts of these meditations on the city police, light and thought, and church choirs are now unknown.

Spluttery Double-timed Drums

Dear Fred,

They call some guys cholos, and some guys get to be called fags, and other guys get to be called douchebags (sometimes shortened as d-bags). Some ladies are called hags, some are called chicken-heads, and some are called hussies. Sometimes I make up new slurs for men and women. For men, I coined brildos, yampas, tonguebait, and porgs. For women, I coined wabboes, krill, wredges, and quozzies. I'm going to employ focus groups to assign specific meanings to each of these novel pejoratives.

Did you watch the Garry Shandling DVD I gave you?

Sincerely,
Margaret Gains

Tonally Schizophrenic and Tonally Jarring

My favorite character got the whole ensemble together. It doesn’t feel organic. I guess he’s supposed to broadcast embarrassing news about real-life problems to the ridiculous douche-boyfriend character who is trying to seek new kingdoms rather than slumber in peaceful subjection to the rule of others. The historian shows up at the party to deliver an epic beatdown to an incredible asshole.

Drug- and Sex-Obsessed Brats 4

All of the people I know stood on the ground that is my yard and when Ritz exited my well-appointed home, they were beyond crestfallen. I turned on my extremely bright security spotlight. I saw them gathered around the pond where my large goldfish live.

"I will feed you," I said, "But I expect to have explained to me what exactly has driven you to my yard in the middle of the night, culminating in the illicit entry of my home by my platonic friend Ritz."

Walker Jog spoke for the crowd. "We are loathe to explain ourselves at this moment, but we shall sup with you if it be your will."

"Aye, Walker. Aye. It is. Come around to the barn in the backyard, which I use for banquets and such."

And so the banquet began.

Hey monkey had the watermelon

If you want a holiday gift, don’t put the circuit drivers in your house. Display shame and slowly encourage Mother Earth to exile all electricity.

Neighbors recommend ecologically safer money; switching holiday sounds will save a number of installers of LEDs. You want to gawk. You’ll trip.

Drug- and Sex-Obsessed Brats 3

"I have never before seen the inside of your abode," Ritz said, a cagey sort of insouciance in both of her twinkling eyes.

"Noted," I replied, "but I'm more concerned with the rather disgusting footprints you are leaving on my Kevin O'Brien Daisy Petals area rug. Master weavers in India and other world-class rug-making regions didn't labor for countless hours so some American's platonic female friend could soil it at an ungodly hour of the night."

Like a cowed mongrel, Ritz backed out of the house. She walked on the tips of her toes, leaving a distressing number of tiny brown smudges on the strikingly dynamic grain and knots of my Acacia hardwood floors, further sullying the positive energy, exuberant flow and optimistic attitude of my home.

I do not control all re-tweets

The amateur social media lover sold a bag of ancient candy to the wannabe bacon fanatic. The candy was the kind that is brown and sweet, but before the wannabe bacon fanatic could run to the attic he rented from a subtly charming music guru, a typical food ninja grabbed the bag and filled it with hot, buttery piss. The wannabe bacon fanatic told the typical food ninja to give a wood chipper a deep dicking. Then the wannabe bacon fanatic wrote a brief letter to the editor decrying the state of modern confections.

We Got a Grocery Store

Versatility is not your lightweight grandparents' kind of luxury. They're growing both of their possible dilemmas. transporting the sport cart to the gallery of items, the little population makes more perfect solutions indoors. Please visit their active life and use it for looking at the new senior picture, which is made of versatile outdoor lives. Parents see the uses.

Drug- and Sex-Obsessed Brats 2

With the silver key from the false avian domicile, Ritz opened the front door and gained entry into my extravagantly decorated bungalow. She was impressed by my Varaluz Aisen Collection Recycled Steel Floor Lamp, particularly enchanted by the Hammered Ore finish highlighting the steel textures that are a hallmark of the Aizen Collection. Awoken by her intrusion, I discovered her in the midst of this reverie.