Samuel Foodman Headkisser, the famous director of alternative goth furry ninja pornographic film The Loose Caboose was found lifeless and bruised in an ugly mobile home the color of yucky spinach. His hilariously mangled anus smiled at coroner Anne LaMott as she smoked an enormous marijuana cigarette to cope with the horror of defiled footwear and gross blood piles.
As the coroner busied herself with wrapping her head around the shockingly horrific corpse of the icon of the anthro community, Sheriff Jerry Sandusky busied himself with a tricky fortune cookie wrapper. Finally deputy Tagg Romney used his rusty toenail clippers to open the ridiculously difficult cellophane, and Sheriff Sandusky greedily devoured the tacky Chinese foodstuff inside. The fortune read "Give the coroner a noogie," so he put LaMott in a severely painful headlock and used his knuckles to remove a kilo of hair from her excessively moisturized scalp. Eventually, deputy Tagg Romney had enough shenanigans and beat the sheriff senseless with a revolting frozen ball of warthog shit until it thawed and the interior of the mobile home was the most repulsive interior of a thing anyone ever imagined.
